


Levi x Reader: Snow Angels [reincarnation au]

by SmexyLeviLover



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3128771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmexyLeviLover/pseuds/SmexyLeviLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi wore the mask of Humanity's Strongest, but his body eventually gave out during man's last stand. [Name] watched him succumb to humanity's end and how shouldering the burdens of man's survival broke him in his final moments. She makes a promise to "wear the mask" for him in the next life, so that she can shoulder his burdens instead. But is she strong enough....?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Levi x Reader: Snow Angels [reincarnation au]

Because happy endings are the best endings.

**Snow Angels: The Fall**

Humanity was falling, close to having _fallen._ Titans had already entered the inner borders and just like that, hope had been cast aside for fear and desperation. [Name]'s bloodied fingers held her arms close to her chest as the smell of her comrade's innards penetrated the air, a putrid odor that seeped through the fabric of her white button-up shirt and into the pores of her skin.

Her body twitched as she tasted their fear, her eyes scanning the nightmare before her.

These large, feasting giants had thrown the town into ruination. Buildings collapsed as townspeople scurried to and fro like small ants only to meet their fate: death. This terror was held within Sina's walls, which burnt an orange hue, tall flames convulsing along the circumference. A grey, misty smoke rose to the heavens, the smell of ash and blood permeating through the atmosphere. 

It carried a message to the Gods. This was man's last stand, man's last moment. 

But [Name] knew that there was still one last hope, the man known to carry humanity's hopes, humanity's dreams.

"Please be alive, Levi," she murmured solemnly as she limped through unrecognizable streets. A spark of green suddenly flashed by her eyes. That agility....she knew he hadn't fallen. A small glimmer of hope shone within her as she took refuge in the dark alleyway between two buildings. [Name]'s gear had been damaged, and she was now useless for humanity's survival. However, if there was one soldier whom [Name] could place all her trust in, it would be Levi.

She watched with slowly growing vigor as Levi fought on and on, the Wings of Freedom symbol on his green Survey Corps cloak flashing in the burning light of fire. 

_Maneuver gear. I need to find an undamaged 3DMG. I can't just stand here uselessly. I need to continue fighting like him._

She even began to look among the fallen bodies of other soldiers to try and find something to make her useful again. That was just one of the effects of the presence of Humanity's Strongest. He instilled hope in the hopeless, dreams in the ones living through nightmares.

[Name]'s attention was drawn elsewhere when suddenly, a titan reached out for the raven-haired man, catching onto the ends of his cloak with either hand. The man, though his body heavy with the weight of exhaustion, maneuvered out of the titan's grip, his cloak lost to the titan in the act. 

Humanity's Strongest turned mid-air as his 3DMG reeled him back to a nearby building, one of the few still standing. He watched wide-eyed as the green fabric tore straight down the white and blue Wings of Freedom. 

The message had been received. This was the end.

[Name] had been alerted by the ripping sound and looked up, fear catching hold of her heart as her rib cage squeezed on her insides. She watched Levi's grey icy eyes freeze in place.

His demeanor began to change, his brows no longer furrowed, his hands losing grip of the swords. Humanity's Strongest knew at that moment. If he continued fighting, he would become Humanity's _Last._ His back hit the building with a _thud_ as he slid down the wall, barely catching himself on the ground as he faltered for a few steps before falling to his knees. His neck arched upwards as he stared at the red sky in a hopeless desperation. 

 _This was the end,_ he concluded as his body gave in to gravity. 

"Levi!" a voice called. [Name] ran towards the Corporal, but his ears were deaf to her cries. He had worn his body out, put his systems into overdrive to protect humanity, and now he was decaying from the inside-out. He too was falling with humanity. 

She caught the broken man in her arms, and her heart nearly stopped. The scratches and cuts painted across his pale face were not normal. His eyes were so vacant, as if they were dead. Never before had Levi looked so small and vulnerable to anyone. How could he appear like this? He was Humanity's Strongest.

"Levi! Levi!" she called. 

Levi smiled grimly. 

_It's no use, [Name]._

As if her voice could reverse the all the damage that had accumulated over the years of carrying humanity's hopes. The burdens had weighed too heavily upon his fragile body, and the effects were finally revealed.

_I'm sorry for showing you this side of me._

Levi stared at his reflection through [Name]'s pupils. So this was what was beneath the mask. The mask of pride, the mask of strength. The mask he wore during which he carried humanity on his shoulders. It was nice to meet him at least one last time, the lonely person trapped behind people's beliefs. 

"No," she whispered as she watched Levi's eyes shut slowly. Her fingers wrapped tightly against his fractured arm. He was too weak to tell her so, too numb to the pain because that's what he had always done with pain. He numbed it. Everyone's eyes had always rested upon his eyes, his expression, his body stance. Confidence, not hesitation. Trust, no apprehension. Pain was a privilege of the weak, and he had arbitrarily been deemed the strong. But a mind could only drive a body so deep before they both broke under pressure. 

And now this broken man laid in the hands of [Name]. Her tears stained his face, their coolness soothing on his dry skin among the heated air. They granted him a little peace in his last moments. Levi wished he could have died alone, without [Name] having to see him like this. But alas, if the world was about to end, her face was the one he wanted to see most. The days she spent in his office, the nights she spent in his bedroom....those were the times he felt the safest. He knew she saw him as the strongest, but there were times he let himself slip a bit in her presence.

The blankets she placed over his shoulders on long nights of paperwork. The warm tea she prepared for him in the morning when she knew a long day of work lay ahead. The gentle kisses she lay over his battle wounds, and the loving way she held him. He wished he could have shown her more weakness, been spoiled by her a bit longer before humanity's final moments arrived. 

_I hope we can meet in another life, [Name]._

The soldier watched as Levi slowly succumbed to humanity's end, his eyes as dark as the grey and black ashes that snowed upon them like light feathers. She cried for her lover. She cried for humanity. She cried to the angels for hope, and she cried against destiny. Had their expeditions all been for naught? Was this truly the end? She sobbed among the desolation, with Levi in her arms as titans surrounded their burning city. Her pleas rose above the smoke that ascended to the heavens, but there was no one to hear out her wishes. 

She trembled under fear, under the feeling of being alone. Now she knew how Levi felt. Regrets burned deep under her skin, her biggest that even in the end, she hadn't been able to become a confidant to the one person she loved with all her heart. [Name] had lived comfortably under the assumption that Levi was strong. And seeing him now in his final moments taught her otherwise. 

She had been one of the people to put him on that pedestal and drive him to what he was now. Why hadn't she prodded him for more answers? All those times she felt an uneasiness surround Levi's exterior, why hadn't she asked? The nights they spent together tangled in each other's bodies, the times she pressed her ear against his chest and listened to his heart beats. When they felt so weak, why didn't she say something?

Could she even call Levi her lover? Her friend? Or was she merely another worshiper who molded him into an ideal hero? 

Mistakes...that couldn't be forgiven, that couldn't be forgotten. Mistakes that [Name] didn't want to forget. Perhaps she couldn't rewrite her wrongs in this lifetime, but if there was another chance, she would, even if it drove her to the same insanity it had probably driven Levi, even if her life ended with that same vacant expression. 

She was ready to carry these burdens. 

"Levi," [Name] uttered as she rested her sweating forehead against his cold one. The ground shook, the beads dripping from her brow with every step the Titans made as they surrounded their next and final meal. "I will bear your sins, I will bear your worries. I will be your sword, I will be your shield."

She shut her eyes tightly, feeling a large hand surround her torso. The bones in her ribs and arms snapped as she was lifted in the air and held above a large, warm, grotesque mouth. Her eyes bloodshot, her throat dry, [Name] repeated in her head a final promise.

_If we can ever meet again, I'll wear the mask for you._

**Snow Angels: Modern Day**

[Name] had never been one to believe in second chances or miracles, but the day she saw him at a cafe, she knew. She remembered introducing herself like an idiot, almost tearing up from all the emotions that swelled within her. It was funny just how much the Gods loved to tease her. She had met nearly every reincarnated member of the Survey Corps, Erwin, Hanji, Mike, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean....the entire set of misfits who had seemed to also find each other in this new world. 

Unlike everyone else who seemed to remember nothing of their past lives, Levi complained of nightmares which he later found out were memories of their lives behind the walls. [Name] had concluded that he only knew the puzzle pieces and that she had solved the entire story long ago. But [Name] kept it to herself. She didn't want to worry Levi. She began to wear a mask of happiness and perfection that soon became all too easy.

Today was the just another day. In fact, Levi and [Name] were hosting a Christmas party between their long time friends. In preparation, she stood in front of her bathroom mirror, steam floating in the air around her as she dried her hair with a towel. Her reflection stared back.

What sort of role would [Name] cast herself in today?

Oh, I'll tell you! She's quite the star. She's been featured as the caring friend, the loving wife, the defender of justice, the seeker of truth. From the moment [Name] had recollected her memories of the world of titans, she knew that she had to be perfect. She had to be prepared to follow through with her promise to wear the mask. She would become so perfect that Levi would have zero doubt that he could share all his burdens with her. And she would carry them, the same way he had carried humanity on his back.

Levi would tell her all that plagued his mind, and [Name] would soothe and caress those hardships and make them turn to thin air. She would paint for him pictures with brilliant colors while she herself remained grey and colorless. That was all she wanted, for Levi to be happy, to make life easier for him.

And so she wore this perfection, inside and out. [Name] made it look so easy with everyone that she got used to being asked for help and then never appreciated, her deeds forgotten because no one knew just how hard it was for her to smile on a daily basis. But showing weakness had become a foreign concept to her. She could only display strength. She was a pillar of support that now everyone relied upon, and it had finally emotionally fatigued her. 

With time, all the guests finally arrived, and the party began. 

"Hey, [Name]!" Jean, the rowdy neighbor that had somehow invited himself, called out as he waved and walked towards her with two wine glasses. He handed one to her and then threw his free arm over [Name]'s shoulder. "Man, this is a great party. Nice house you got here."

"Uhm, thanks, Jean," [Name] replied as she dipped the tip of the wine glass near her parted lips. Jean nearly blushed at how elegant she seemed in her long-sleeved, body fitting dress. In his eyes, [Name] was a _real_ woman. 

[Name], on the other hand, saw Jean as a _real_ drunkard. She raised a brow at her neighbor. "Are you drunk already? Didn't you just arrive?"

"Oh, yeah!" Jean beamed, giving his award winning smile. His alcohol-filled breath made [Name]'s nose cringe. "I got hella wasted at the other party," he explained as nudged his cheek into hers, a bit of his five o' clock shadow rubbing into her cheek. 

"Jean, stop!" [Name] laughed as she pushed him away. He was always acting like a high school boy with a crush on her, even though she was way out of his league. 

"Oi, Horseface," a venomous voice spoke, "hit on my wife one more time and I'll shove a bottle up your ass." Of course, there were some things that never changed even between lifetimes. 

Like Jean's nickname. 

Jean, knowing better than to reply like a smart ass (from previous experience), did a 180 spin and walked away before Levi came any closer. 

"Did we even invite him?" Levi asked, a clear frown planted on his face. 

"I honestly don't think we did," [Name] replied with a small smile as she stared at Levi's expression. That familiar frown...just like old times. "Come on, we should eat dinner." [Name] tugged on Levi's sleeve playfully, and Levi smiled in return. 

"Alright."

Everyone was called to the dinner table, even Jean who sat a good distance away from [Name]. They spoke about meaningless things: the lovely food, pets, jobs, and then the topic that [Name] always dreaded, kids.

"You'd be the perfect mother," Armin, one of Levi's employees, admitted genuinely. [Name] smiled and accepted the praise graciously.

_I have faults, more than you could ever imagine, but even if I tried, I wouldn't be able share them. You'll never know how fickle I can be at times, or how impatient I am. Yes, I might not show it, but I'm human._

"Let's hope your child takes after you," Erwin joked, "and not after Levi with that frown of his." The entire table burst with laughter including a few faked giggles from [Name]. Levi, on the other hand, adorned that gloomy frown of his.  

_To be honest, I'm not all that confident in my looks or personality. I'd much rather my child frown like Levi when he or she is irritated rather than brush it off with a smile like me._

"Your child would be so graceful like you!"

"If it's a girl, she'd be the sweetest little thing."

"A boy like [Name] would charm all the girls in school with his gentlemanly behavior!"

"Probably wouldn't have any picky eating habits like Levi! Oh! Except for a fondness of tea! Can't be Levi's kid without a love for tea!"

More laughter, even a little hidden grin from Levi. And yet [Name] could only sit still in her chair, hands clasped on her lap. A child that took after her? A child that faked their smiles? Hid their worries? Played the popular kid at school when in fact, no one could really understand them? A child that was a friend to all and yet had no friend at all?

What kind of child could she raise?

An actor, a first-class actor. 

[Name] gripped the ends of her dress, fidgeting slightly with a dreadful desire to drop this conversation. A small outburst at the other end of the table diverted her attention. 

"Gimme that last bit, Eren!" Jean yelled at his childhood friend and apparent sworn enemy (and also [Name] and Levi's other neighbor.) 

"Hell no, Horseface! You can just go crash another party and take their alcohol instead!" Eren shouted back with drunk vigor as he swayed back and forth. He clearly wasn't as popular as Jean, seeing as how this was the only Christmas party where he could let loose.

"Eren, let Jean have the bottle," [Name] said, a pleasant, calming smile adorning her features. This was her escape route. "I'll get you a new one from the store. We've run out anyways."

Eren blushed at [Name]'s beautiful face and reluctantly handed over the bottle to Jean, who complained about always getting leftovers. He still downed the bottle anyways. 

[Name] threw on a large overcoat and grabbed her purse to head out the door. The cold air nipped at her nose when a hand immediately pulled her back. 

"Are you okay?" Levi asked. His hand never left her arm. "I can come with you. Moreover, you don't need to cater to those drunk idiots."

"Ah, but they're our guests, Levi. Let's at least spoil them for the holidays," she said as she replaced his hand by his side and kissed her husband on the cheek. She quickly turned to leave, her coat flapping in the cold winter wind. 

Levi stared at her receding body from the door until she was far out of sight. He couldn't help but wonder if she was truly feeling alright. He never wanted to force [Name], but lately, her eyes had a detached look in them. That scared Levi. It was as if she could disappear suddenly, as if nothing really bound her to this world except for perhaps their love. And Levi would do anything to continue showing his love for her, anything as long as she was happy in this new life.  

A distance away from the house, [Name] trekked onward towards the store. The white snow crunched like cereal beneath [Name]'s warm, winter boots. The flakes that melted upon her coat reminded her of humanity's last day, when ash snowed in the walls of Sina during the titan attack. But unlike their past lifetime, everything in this life was so pure...except for her. [Name] was like some sort of wretched, fake monster, or felt like it at least. How long would she be able to keep this up?

She sighed. That was a question she didn't want to find the answer to. [Name] cleared her thoughts as she found the store, bought the alcohol, and took the route though the empty park near a church to get back home. But in all honesty, did she even want to go back?

[Name] eyed the bag bottles and then the open space near the church, covered with a blanket of soft snow. She felt her feet drag her towards that area as the sounds of caroling and church bells grew louder in her ears. She had no more energy, no motivation to return home only to entertain more guests and endure false praise. Enough was enough. 

The bottom of her pants met with the soft snow as she plopped down. [Name] popped a bottle open and brought the the glass to her lips. A burning sensation rushed through her throat, a pooling heat gathering in her stomach. She needed this, even if it'd only last for a moment. She needed to get away. An unfamiliar taste of salt suddenly fell upon her tongue. 

Tears.

Fingertips gently touched her eyes to and confirmed the wetness. [Name] stared at the tiny droplet on her finger in disbelief. No, that was no melted snowflake. She was crying for the first time in years. Her teeth grit in sudden desperation.

_Is it even worth it to continue on like this? I love Levi, but I hate this life._

Her tears turned into sobbing fits, her poor chest heaving to keep up with her intense emotions. [Name] coughed and hiccuped as her body slumped into the cold snow, the bottle still in hand. She laid sprawled upon the bed of snow, staring up at the sky. Her hair was no longer prim and proper as it spread loose in the depths of ice, a rush of cold numbing her head. She felt trapped in the arms of this white sheet, caged in the belief that maybe she and Levi weren't even meant to be. But she still desperately cried to the snow angels, wherever they were. 

"Is there a way to start over again?"

At the party, Levi felt a sudden sharp pain in his chest. He turned to the clock. Almost an hour had passed since [Name] set out. 

_Why is she taking so goddamn long?_ he wondered. 

Having made up his mind, he grabbed his coat from the closet and found Erwin. "I'm heading out to make sure [Name]'s alright. Take care of the guests for me and make sure those barbarians (in reference to Eren and Jean) stay out of my room," he ordered. 

Levi's friend nodded with a reassuring smile, and Levi, confident that his house was in trustworthy hands, left. He tread through the snow, careful not to slip on the icy sidewalks. Various thoughts and scenarios worried him. 

_What if she tripped and fell somewhere? What if someone kidnapped her? God, that idiot even forgot her cell phone at home._

A sudden fear clutched his heart though. What if [Name] had truly left? There had always been something about her that bothered Levi. Of the few memories Levi had of their past life, Levi had been open with [Name] about what he recalled, and she would help him fill in the blanks or drop the subject when she arbitrarily deemed in unimportant or claimed that she forgot. But Levi was already aware that [Name] knew much more than she let onto. He wasn't an idiot. He could read her slight expressions, the way her eyes dipped left when she was hiding something. 

However, Levi also knew how much those memories haunted him, so he always tread carefully around [Name], not wanting to accidentally trigger a horrid memory. Levi knew that he died before her, and while she knew his death, he knew nothing of hers. The one day he asked, her face grew pale and her body shook with unease for the entire night. Levi never brought the topic up again. She probably met the same fate as many of their comrades, a meal for the titans. 

_But how can you smile every day?_

It was a question Levi asked [Name] often in his head and a question that was finally answered today when he saw the faint blur of a familiar coat lying on the snow. Adrenaline rushed through his veins as he sprinted towards [Name]'s limp body. As he approached, he saw the bottle in hand and her chest move up and down with steady breaths. There was no joy on her face, and this served as his answer. 

How could [Name] smile every day?

Because she hid the times that she didn't. 

The adrenaline levels dropped in Levi's body as he slowed down to a walk. He knelt to the ground and laid down beside her. [Name] felt the snow near her ear rustle as a sudden warm pressed against the side of her body. She opened her eyes and turned to see Lev staring back at heri. 

_Am I dreaming?_

"Hey, [Name]," Levi said, his deep voice loudly reverberating in her ears. No. No, this most definitely was not a dream. "Tell me honestly, do I make you unhappy?" Levi's voice was low and solemn, a growing desire to press for real answers. 

The back of Levi's hand grazed [Name]'s gently, and a sudden sensation of guilt coursed through her body. 

"N-no, why would you think that?" she stuttered. It wasn't the cold making her shiver. It was the intense stare Levi was giving her. His focus was heightened as he observed every feature, every change in expression on [Name]'s face. 

"Besides the fact that you planned to drink an entire bottle while lying in the middle of the snow?" Levi said as his eyes narrowed. He grabbed the alcohol from her hand. 

She turned away in shame. "....my legs got tired."

Levi sighed as he threw the bottle aside, the alcohol staining the white snow a tan champagne color. He took [Name]'s cold hand in his. "Is it the kids? Because I don't need more brats than the two we have running around in our house like drunk barbarians."

[Name] chuckled lightly, a response that Levi momentarily enjoyed, until her smile faltered. "No. It's not." 

_Come on, [Name]. Brush it off. Be strong. You need to---_

Her attempts were useless to pretend any longer. Her mental strength was already at its limit, and she finally fell apart. Tears streamed down [Name]'s cheeks as she used her arm to hide them. 

Levi shifted his body in the snow to face hers. "Then why are you forcing yourself, you idiot? I might not know as much about our past, but I know how it ended. You're acting the same way I was, [Name]!"

[Name] paused in shock. She clearly hadn't given Levi enough credit, or maybe she just wasn't as clever the actress as she thought herself to be. "I just wanted to be someone you could confide in....I thought maybe you thought everyone else was too weak to handle your burdens so you never shared them."

Levi clicked his tongue. His former nickname, Humanity's Strongest, left a bitter taste in his mouth. The last sight [Name] had seen him in was nothing near "strength." The shock and regret on her tear-stained face today and even back then made his chest cave in. Hadn't he resolved to changing himself so that he would never have to see her cry like that again? 

But his fatal mistake in this lifetime was not realizing her unnatural flawlessness. Anger burned deep within the raven-haired man. 

_Why were you forcing yourself? Why were the same mistakes being repeated in this lifetime? Is destiny fated to repeat itself no matter how many lives we lived?_

The gentle flakes of snow that fell upon their faces said otherwise. This was a world without titans, a world where love had more than just a chance. Their love had a future.

 _No, it isn't,_ Levi told himself as he took both of [Name]'s freezing hands in his. 

"Everybody wants to be strong," he explained, "but no one can be strong all the time. I learned that in the last life. That's why I changed in this one. I never want to see you cry the way you did in our last moments together. I never want to hear your voice tremble like that." Levi closed his eyes, a lot grunt rising deep from his throat as he resolved himself to admitting, "It scares me to see you like this. I'm worried you'll disappear and leave me alone, but I guess it's something I deserve after leaving you in that titan-filled disaster by yourself...."

No. [Name] knew that wasn't right at all. In their past lives, Levi had listened to so many of her woes, so many memories of her comrades lost in battle. He had never left her alone. He was her hero, her light in darkness, her hope in hopeless times.

And he still was. 

[Name] bit her bottom lip harshly as she pulled her hands away from Levi's and wrapped them around his neck to draw him closer. Levi's eyes gazed longingly into hers as he pushed her wet hair away from her eyes and cupped her cheeks, the warmth of his palms spreading through her skin. Their lips met slowly and softly, a small fire burning inside their chests.

[Name] was the first to break away as she nuzzled her head into Levi's shoulder. "Do you think we'll get it right in the next life time?" she asked in a whisper. 

Levi's arms tightened protectively around her body. "Why can't we try in this one?"

Lips trembled as [Name] pursed them tightly, her innate response to avoid a natural smile since it had been so long. Even the most natural of smiles wouldn't be the prettiest if someone had forgotten how to smile. [Name] almost laughed. Whatever this lopsided grin on her face was, she knew it'd crack a mirror if she ever tried to see the reflection, so she silently thanked the Gods that her chin lay nuzzled on Levi's shoulder in a position where he couldn't see her awkwardly formed expression. But Levi could still feel her lips against his neck. He just chose not to say anything.  

And so they both laid in the snow wrapped in each other's arms, ears deaf to the carols and church bells that sounded in the air. The party, the guests -- none of that mattered in their small world, only the fact that they had each other. 

The snow angels in heaven blessed the lovers that laid in each other's arms.

_Take off the mask._

\-----------------------------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS


End file.
